Sometimes a break-up just isn’t reason enough to stop loving your ex. Of course, you’ve been in love so long you’d obviously want to be with someone even if there’s no love anymore. But winning your ex back is just as hard as getting them to fall for you in the first place.

Most people get deperate to win their love back, and instead of getting them closer, they end up blowing their old flame further away. Here are three most important things you should never do if you want your ex to share a bit of that gooey love that’s swimming inside you.

1) No begging and pleading

Begging and crawling to your ex’s feet will never get you your ex back. It will only make you look more foolish, pathetic and miserable. The more you beg to get an ex partner back, the less likely it is to ever happen. Desperate behaviour is more likely to repel your ex rather than attract him or her. Not chasing after your ex gives you a better chance to win them back, because you are not doing anything negative to win them back.

2) No depression pangs

It’s easy to think that your ex will come back to you the instant you let them know how helpless and fragile you are without them, but in most cases, it only makes your ex detest you further. Doing stupid things to get their attention by pretending to be someone you are not is nothing but bad strategy. Also, don’t call your ex, or go to their house, and cry and threaten suicide. This never works. And if you’re thinking of trailing them around everywhere they go, chuck that thought out of your head. Stalking is the worst thing you could ever do and that one thing can actually distance you so far away you’d end up hating yourself.

3) Rekindling the flame to soon

If you’ve broken up a few weeks back, just don’t try and make up immediately. Your mate’s walked out for a reason that’s still at the back of their mind. Asking them to go out as soon as you break up is not just insensitive, it’s annoying. You need to realise that most people need space right after a break up. Give them a little time to miss you. If you had a decent relationship, chances are that your ex will think about you. There’s nothing you can do to instantly bring back your ex, so be patient. But even by avoiding these simple mistakes, there’s no real proof that your ex will come running back to your arms. All you can do is wait a while, keep the space and see if your ex is interested in getting back together. Otherwise, roll your past into a deep corner of your mind and try moving on. Unfortunately for you, moving on isn’t an option, it’s your only choice.

A Heartbroken Ex’s tale
I fell in love with a girl when I was in grad school. Things were just great, but somehow things just went from good to bad, and from bad to worse. Eventually we had to break up because we couldn’t hold on anymore. We were on and off for a few months. The attraction was electric, and we couldn’t help wanting to be together all the time, even though we used to argue if we spent too much time together. Eventually both of us parted ways, and she hooked up with another guy. I tried getting in touch with her, but we had drifted so far away, it took me two years to get her number. We started talking again and things were on the verge of getting perfect, when she heard rumours about me and believed that I was lying about everything just to have a fling with her. I couldn’t accept the accusation, but there was no way I could ever tell the truth. It was more like she never believed me. She avoided my calls and even changed her number. It hurts but I don’t know what to do. I’ve been flirting in and out of relationships, but I’m still not able to forget her. It’s been 12 years to this day since I’ve seen her, but I can’t stop thinking about her. Is it love? I don’t know. I think a part of me wants wants to walk out of her life with a clear conscience, while another part of me wants to go out with her. I recently heard from an old friend who bumped into her, that she’s been seeing someone since a few years. I wish I could meet her, but that’s just never going to happen. What hurts the most is the fact that she thinks I’ve never loved her and was seeing her only to get physical. I don’t know if I’ll ever forget her. I just hope I do. Sometimes, it’s never easy to move on. And in my case, I’m really not able to move on even if I wanted to. – A Heartbroken Romantic.

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