Signs of the Times:
1) Sign over a gynecologist’s office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
2) On a Plumbers truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.”
3) On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
4) Pizza shop slogan: “7 days without pizza makes one weak.”
5) At a tire shop in Milwaukee: “Invite us to your next blowout.”
6) Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: “Hello. Can we pick your nose?”
7) At a laundry shop: “How about we refund your money, send you a new
one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that
be satisfactory?”
At a towing company: “We don’t charge an arm and a leg.
We want tows.”
9) On an electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”
10) In a nonsmoking area: “If we see smoke, we will assume
you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
11) On a maternity room door: “Push! Push! Push!”
12) At an optometrist’s office: “If you don’t see what
you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
13) On a taxidermist’s window: “We really know our stuff.”
14) In a podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.”
15) On a fence: “Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive.”
16) At a car dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet - miss
a car payment.”
17) Outside a muffler shop: “No appointment necessary. We
hear you coming.”
18) In a veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5-20
minutes. Sit! Stay!”
19) At the electric company: “We would be de-lighted if you
send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.”
20) In a restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be
hungry. Come on in and get fed up.”
21) In the front yard of a funeral home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
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